She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
These tits shall not be calmed
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
