I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
