im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
