I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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