my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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