i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
