the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize