guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
