Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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