who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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