Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
