We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
