She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize