We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize