your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
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