the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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