This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
