My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
