I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
