I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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