The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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