i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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