Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
