Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
