where does the pee come out of this thing
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
