Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
