Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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