I heard we made out
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
