i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
