You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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