with your own penis?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
