I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
