There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
