New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
