she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
