You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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