He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
