Buhtt sex?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize