Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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