I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Me too!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
