Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
