girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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