is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just had sex bonerless
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
