Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
