in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
