my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
