I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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