This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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