She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
