This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
