i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I look excited, but its just a facade.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
