I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I should be sponsored by Trojan
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
