MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Alive.
So much puke
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
