For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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