you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
