omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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