Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
