She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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