Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
