I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
