what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
