omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
