Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize