last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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