Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
