thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
